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I love the beginning of a fresh, New Year! On New Year’s Eve 2021, I started a new ritual for letting go of what didn’t serve me that year so I could start the new year feeling renewed and optimistic.
This year, I decided to share this practice with my family while we were on vacation at a resort in Virginia.
At New Year’s Eve dinner, I handed out pieces of paper and asked my husband and three kids to each write down anything they wanted to release — challenges, failures, disappointments, stresses — anything that didn’t serve them that they wanted to release before the new year.
My son, Luca, who is nine, started to write down his sisters’ names on a piece of paper, so we had to create a rule for our family — you can’t release a person. I told him he could reframe it as releasing “fighting with his sisters”. 😄
I asked each of my family members to share an example of what they wrote on one of the papers:
- My husband, Rino: the desire for comfort over discipline
- Olivia (age 11): frustration
- Luca (age 9): health problems
- Clara (age 8): being mean
Here are a few examples of what I wrote:
- Anxiety
- Fear
- Procrastination on editing my book
- Busyness
- Self-doubt
- Saying “I’m so busy”
- Negative feelings about a family member
- Family drama
- Being impatient with my kids
- Yelling at my kids
We then took our pieces of paper and put them into the fire, signaling that we are letting go of what didn’t serve us in 2022 so we can have an awesome 2023.
Here’s something interesting - the first time I did this was on December 31, 2021.
Last year, 2022, was one of the best years I’ve had in almost all areas of my life!
The act of physically writing each thing down and watching it burn away was like turning the page to a new year of amazing possibilities and a fresh start.
For the past two years, I have done this practice on New Year’s Eve; however, you can do it anytime in January, or really any time during the year that you want to start fresh. It could be the first of the month, your birthday, or the beginning of the week. This is also a great time to set personal and professional intentions as part of your rituals for the new year (or new season). For example, my personal intention for this year is “ease”.
I can often feel hurried and stressed and last year I consciously worked on breaking the habit of feeling stressed and overwhelmed. I stopped telling myself things like, “I’m so stressed” and “I have so much to do.” Instead, I created two mantras that I would repeat to myself when overwhelm would kick in: “One day at a time” and “I have plenty of time to get this done”.
The stress I often feel is created in my mind about what could happen, and most often not reality.
This year, my intention is to be more at ease during my day and interactions and to not fuel feelings of stress and anxiety. One of my executive clients set an intention of appreciation - to demonstrate appreciation with colleagues and her family on a regular basis.
Having an intention brings focus to what you want to create and cultivate more of this year.
Practicing the releasing exercise and setting intentions as rituals for the new year doesn’t mean you will have a perfect year. It doesn’t mean you will be perfect (I’ve released “being impatient with my kids” both years, and let’s just say I’m a work in progress). These rituals are about progress, not perfection, and working toward getting better every year.
Releasing beliefs, actions, habits, or feelings that aren’t serving you and instead directing that energy toward being more purposeful in your interactions and how you navigate your daily life can give you a powerful sense of direction and focus for a more positive, fulfilling year.
What will you release as you're preparing for your next season or your year? What intentions are you setting?
Share with me in the comments and enjoy releasing that which no longer serves you!
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Whenever I have a work project that I keep putting off - I think about delegating that project to someone else - which accomplishes 2 things- it gets the project done and frees us my brain space thinking about it.
Good morning. I loved this read. Thank you so much for sharing. Sincerely, Melissa :)
Thank you for this blog Laurie. I liked most part and specially "As organizations have become more complex, there is a tendency to require employees to do more with less. This is a slippery slope, and often can result in employees feeling overwhelmed and burnt out. One of the biggest contributors to this is not evaluating resources during the strategic planning process." I will use this practice "A best practice is to do what I call Priority Planning—putting important practices on your calendar ahead of time so they become a priority in your day. Examples of activities to Priority Plan include scheduling recurring coaching sessions with each team member, time for strategic thinking and planning, vacations, doctor appointments, important children’s events, and blocks of time for focused work on projects." To be more effective, I will get a good rest so I can have enough energy in the morning. I will read the blog again along with the other links on employee evaluation. Thank you so much Laurie. Best wishes to you and your family.
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I love the feedback on the more than 50 hours of work. AND filling time. So true. Unfortunately, showing that you work longer hours is still seen as being a "hard worker" - not sure how to change that though.
I enjoyed the read. I concur that transitioning from technical skills to delegating results was a task within itself. I did not realize I was almost trying to do the same thing from my previous position, and it was not working. However, I am seeing the results of how delegating daily tasks makes my job and workload easier. Thank you, Laurie.
Thank you for sharing information about your trip Laurie! All 3 things resonate with me - probably #1 being the biggest. I know when I'm gone for a week, I'm still thinking about work and need a vacation when I get back because I did not relax enough. I think your idea of a longer vacation is definitely in my future!!
Hey Laurie, My take on your list - 1 - everyone has a story - listen 2- social media causes interpersonal problems 5- generational differences create hurdles / earn it you aren't entitled / we should help them get there not give it to them 6 AMEN some leaders I would have followed thru Hell, some I wish - well, you know 7- true BUT be as good as your word and 14- Hopefully we leave some good from our efforts, I know the good leaders I have had have. Seen a lot in my career but it really comes down to treat others the way you want to be treated, fair, honest, and straight forward. Good read. Take care
I love this so much and thank you so much for sharing! I really just love realizing that enjoying the simple things sometimes is the best! Also recognizing that what is important and fun to you may not be everyone else's fun on the on the trip. “Do we get to keep these toiletries?” was my favorite!!!! :):) Glad you had a great time and got to spend it with your family!
I very much resonate with lesson no 3! Thank you Laurie
I think the part that you might have missed in their top 5 things, some of which were not "Italian" or even different from home, all of them happened with you, both of you. And i think that is what they will remember too. And you've got tons of photos that will remind them of what the Sistine Chapel looked like - then they might remember what it sounded like or smelled like. Oh- and i agree with you 100% about sleep!
LOTS of great take-aways from this post! Thank you for posting! I especially love "slow down to speed up". That's a keeper!
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the not getting enough rest to be at my best. definitely need to get more quality sleep and make that a priority
It really is hard to narrow down the 3 lessons into one because they are all so interconnected. You need to give your mind and body THE TIME to relax SO THAT you can enjoy the SIMPLE THINGS, including REST. I enjoyed that lesson as a whole. I will take that lesson with me on my next vacation (or staycation). As always, thank you Laurie for your candor and for sharing your own lessons with others so that we too can benefit.
Great information and reminders
Laurie, Thank you for sharing your trip and these nuggets. The lessons that resonate most with me are it does take time to relax and getting proper rest. When you devote 15 plus hours of your day for work, taking care of home and others; the 6-7 hours you lay down does not cut it! For me during this time I'm trying to unwind and find myself thinking fighting not to think about what I have to do tomorrow. Even after I create a to do list for the next day...I find things I need to add. Taking a day off here and there doesn't cut it as well because of all the plans you have for that day. I try to make sure my Mental Health Days remains just that.... time for me to laugh, cry, scream.... whatever I need to release the cares and stress!
Really enjoyed the article... and all very true!
Since I was already well aware of #1 (I'm in the same boat with taking a long time to relax), I think I'm resonating most with #3. I'm learning to prioritize sleep / rest and it's been wonderful. Love that you said "I love sleep.". :)
Welcome back from vacation. Well deserve! Action is the key to success. Shoulder to shoulder, coaching and delegating task to help other employees grow are very important. It is a sacrifice that one must do. Forget about yourself and be with your team day in and out to help them grow, is not always easy. On the long run, your team is stronger, and you can depend on them for the success of the organization. Thank you so much!
So many great tips here, thank you!
I am so impressed you're able to disconnect and these are great tips I'll be sure to try on my next trip!
Such a great post - so inspiring!